


𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘧𝘶𝘭

by the_sunshine_dims



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Bad Days, Caring Logic | Logan Sanders, Emotions, Future Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hopeful Ending, Hurt Deceit | Janus Sanders, Hurt/Comfort, Pining Janus, Self-Harm, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, You'll see what I mean, kind of, mention of arguments, mention of yelling, pining Logan, thats pretty much what it is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:49:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27198056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_sunshine_dims/pseuds/the_sunshine_dims
Summary: janus had a bad day, and after discovering that this time his usual coping wont help he turns to a.. less healthy coping mechanism before not wanting to be left in his room alone, logan being caring and concerned ensues,
Comments: 1
Kudos: 51





	𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘧𝘶𝘭

..it had been a bad, and extremely long day for Janus, first there was a video and there was a big argument and there was yelling which made him feel not the greatest because he hated yelling but then when it was over he went to his room and tried to do his usual coping to feel better, watching a movie, or reading a book to distract him until he could feel fine enough to properly help himself feel better, but it didn’t work, he just felt bad as he tried to do the things.

And then he felt worse and more desperate to find something that would help and then he turned to his.. less-than-healthy.. coping mechanism, and he quickly uncovered his arm as he grabbed the utility knife in the crack between his mattress and the bed frame, and then he made shaky lines on his shoulders.

It didn’t bleed a lot since he couldn’t go as deep as he wanted to in the moment with the smaller knife but it still hurt enough, he winced in pain and after a couple minutes of just being on the floor slumped over to lean on his bed he summoned the medkit from the bathroom and began disinfecting it, just as a precaution, because if it gets infected he’ll have to bring attention to it and he really doesn’t want too, he doesn't even want the others to know.

He Sighs as soon as he’s out of the mindset, maybe twenty minutes after he cut his shoulders ...he really shouldn't of done that, remus was already worried about him, and if he found this out he’d be even more worried and he didn’t want remus to always have to be worried about him, that wasn't fair to remus.

After a moment he realized he really didn’t want to be alone in his room anymore and despite being hesitant about it he made sure his arms were covered like they normally were, though he hissed in pain as he had to drag the sleeves down his shoulders and it ended up agitating the open skin quite a lot.

He took a breath and once making sure everything was like it normally was he sunk out to appear on the couch and- ow- he landed his shoulder onto the couch arm, he hissed in pain for probably the third time as he shot up and after a second he took a breath And carefully laid down onto his back, and once he was comfortable he realized he had heard a sharp breath that he had assumed in the second to be his but definitely wasn’t so he looked over to the armchair and- oh that was logan, he had witnessed that, hopefully he would be easily shaken off.

Once they had locken eyes Logan went “are you quite alright, Janus?” And Janus just kinda instantly wanted to tell him which wasn’t fair, stupid Logan and his stupid caring voice and stupid him looking concerned,

He internally scolded himself that even with logans dumb faux-concern he couldn’t tell him ( _ that had to fake, why would he be care enough to be concerned about janus) _ so he just tried his best to relax “I’m absolutely  _ awful _ ,” he backwords spoke, though for a lie That was rather truthful, but he wouldn’t admit to it and he hoped logan would just take it and stop being so concerned.

But he wasn’t that lucky so logan continued to have his dumb cute face scrunched up ever so slightly in concern “are you certain?” He asked again.

Janus nodded, trying to get Logan to be convinced, though he supposes  _ what would  _ logan think when he just saw janus hiss in pain, maybe janus could just make up an excuse that just not common enough so he’d think it's truthful? He sighed, putting on a show of telling him, “I just hit my bedside table while I was asleep and my shoulder is bruised.” he told him matter-a-factly as he rested, he was actually feeling better now that he wasn't in his room.

“Thats a lie.” Logan said deadpan and Janus shot up and looked at him, how did he know? Janus could occasionally tell whether things were lies but that was  _ his job, it _ wasn't logan’s, how did he know? Did he know the real reason janus’s shoulders were in pain? 

He hoped not, but he just quietly lied and mumbled “no its not,” a lot more nervously then his voice normally was, and turned his head away as he huddled into himself and the couch arm, he would’ve left but he decidedly doesn’t want to be alone or in his room right now, even if the thoughts had passed and it was okayer now.

He heard a soft “ _ Janus” _ from Logan and honestly the tone would be enough to make him melt if he wasn’t so tense and it wasn’t in  _ this  _ situation. after a small moment he just offers a small hum in response, he doesn’t know why logans trying to help, sure it could be because he was worried about thomas but Janus didn’t think he would normally have that much care in his voice if it was solely for thomas, but Logan wasn’t his friend, so why would he care for him? Was it supposed to be an olive branch?

He sighed after a moment and faced Logan “I’m  _ fine _ , Logan.” He said seriously, it wasn’t the entire truth but maybe it was enough Logan could overlook it.

“Janus, I don’t mean to pry, but what happened?” He asked again, something gave Janus the feeling he wasn’t gonna stop unless he was specifically told by Janus to stop, and Janus, while he wasn’t the most comfortable with sharing what happened and he doubted he would, and he would probably just wait for Logan to leave, but he still wasn’t ganna outright say tell logan to stop, because.. he honestly really wanted someone to ask him how he was, though he wasn’t gonna actually share because.. quite honestly he was kind of terrified.

After a moment he just kind of grumbled out a “I’m fine” and while Logan never started believing him he seemed to realize he wasn’t gonna end up succeeding in his mission to try and help janus with whatever harmed him.

So after a couple moments, where Janus honestly felt a little bit of dread because  _ Logan was so quiet  _ but then Logan just gently went “what about this? I know you’re probably not wanting to talk to me especially in a circumstance where it practically forced, but.. Janus, I’m here if you need or want to talk.” He told him, and he could tell logan was uncertain if Janus would take up the invitation 

But just stared at him for a second before letting his lips twitch up in a small, careful smile, “okay, Logan, I will.” He told him, 

Logan seemed to be surprised but also happy “really?- that’s- that’s great Janus,” he said, proud of Janus.

Janus offered a bit more of a smile before he just let himself rest again, honestly that had gone a lot better than he expected, and he was.. quite honestly hopeful, he loved remus but he wasn’t really able to help his dark thoughts or sometimes he just got too angry at the thing that had hurt Janus to actually help him, though he was good for cuddles and words of encouragement and his own kind of support he sometimes.. just couldn’t help, and.. maybe.. just maybe, logan would be able to help in the way remus wasn't.

So after a couple minutes where everything drifted off into silence, the silence somehow managing to not be totally uncomfortable as Janus got sleepy from his earlier bout of exhausting emotions and Logan slowly went back to the book he had apparently been reading, occasionally looking over to check on Janus.

_ Yeah he was hopeful _


End file.
